Lucifer the Underdog

Gregory S. Perez, United States Army

After about a month into the school semester, I suffered the great loss of my best friend, Lucifer, my pet dog (Lucy for short). But first, some context. I had raised Lucy since she was a puppy. She used to be so small that she fit in the palm of my hand. I remember when I picked her out of the puppy litter. She was so tiny, completely innocent, and defenseless. Yet, even given her small size and vulnerability, she was extremely curious about the big world around her, needing to lick or sniff everything in her vicinity.

The primary reason why I picked her out of the 8 other puppies remains a slight mystery to me. It is extremely hard to put into words why Lucy stood out from the rest. Perhaps it had to do with her being the runt of the litter. As I stood there looking at all the puppies who fought for my attention, Lucy had to try harder than the rest due to her small size, but it didn’t stop her from giving her best. I looked at her and she looked back at me with those big brown puppy eyes filled with joy and innocence.

I am a man who fears getting too close to anyone for fear of loss. But on this occasion, my shield was lowered, and Lucy had found a chink in my armor. I couldn’t help myself from picking her up with both my hands (out of fear I might hurt her accidentally). For some reason, I’d always thought that I was the one who had chosen her, but now I wonder if it was her who had chosen me. Her small size and strong will warmed me up to her, while simultaneously melting my ice cold heart. Some might ask why take the runt of the litter when there were more fit options, but Lucy showed tremendous will. She showed a lot of heart. At the time I hadn’t experienced a feeling like that before, but for lack of better words as a man, I felt a “mother’s protective instinct”. Maybe I have a soft spot for all underdogs, after all, I do consider myself one.

She became part of my family, and I became a part of her dog pack. A dog will love you unconditionally; a dog is the only animal that will love you more than it loves itself. I am very fond of sayings, mottos, proverbs, and pearls of wisdom. There’s a saying that goes, “A dog is man’s best friend”. There’s another popular saying which further proves what I said is true which goes something like this, “To the world you are someone, to someone you are their whole world.” I believe humans are dogs’ entire world because dogs are in our lives for a short part of it, but we are in dogs’ lives from beginning to end. Dogs live roughly 10 to 15 years. Lucifer lived a total of 8 years, and looking back, I’m glad I was able to spend this time with her.

Circling back to the Veterans Services Center, I never really knew all the resources, opportunities, and benefits offered by our Veterans Services Center (or as it’s more commonly referred to by students, The Vet Center). I knew of it, I’d heard of The Veterans Services Center in the past, and I’d even used their computer lab and printer, but outside of that I never really made the effort to learn how much help they truly offered. It only really began to dawn on me the more time I spent there. Even though I focused on my schoolwork, with time I noticed a sort of family dynamic, a support group system among those who not only worked at the Veterans Services Center but from veterans themselves who needed help both in and outside the classroom. As I noticed how much the veterans at the Veterans Services Center had in common with me, I felt I could not only relate to the same struggles of adapting to civilian life but college life too. But more importantly, the people there wanted to help student veterans who came asking for help in any way that they could.

This proved somewhat problematic since I’ve always struggled with asking for help. Only once I have exhausted every possible resource do I find myself forced to ask for help. Maybe it has to do with me wanting to be self-reliant or me not wanting to appear less capable or weak like an incompetent military officer. But regardless of the reason, I would eventually find myself asking for help at the Veterans Services Center.

It is hard to explain the loss of a pet, and even harder to recover from it. At that point in my life, I was heartbroken. I’d lost a family member; I’d lost my beloved and loyal pet dog, Lucifer. A part of me remembered how and why I’d always tried not to get too close to anyone because losing a loved one is extremely painful. I found myself in need of help, counseling, and moral support. It took Herculean strength for me to go into the Veterans Services Center to ask for help. I approached the most pleasant person at the Veterans Services Center, Nora the Program Assistant. I explained to her how I needed a sympathetic ear and how deeply depressed I was at the recent loss of my beloved pet dog. Nora kindly listened to my tale of woe, the dark tragedy that comes from losing a pet and helped me make an appointment with the Veterans Services Center assigned therapist.

After a long time, going through the grieving process and therapy, I was able to find some form of normalcy. I was provided with some great advice and care. I gradually realized that I shouldn’t be sad our time together ended, but happy that we got to spend some time together. I very much appreciate and value the 8 years of loving memories me and my dog made. I find solace in knowing that Lucifer is in doggy heaven and will no longer be in any pain.

I am extremely glad and thankful to the Veterans Services Center because of the help they provided me at my time of need. There you can find all sorts of help from therapy, tutoring, academic counseling and so much more. More importantly, you’ll find people there that care about you and your life goals. I highly recommend that any student veteran go visit the Veterans Services Center. I know that the Army teaches soldiers to tough things out or power through stuff, to do things without assistance or the proper equipment and no help. But this is the wrong way of going about things. Please do not feel any less, weak, or too prideful to ask for help. I guess maybe you just have to be there in person to witness it firsthand, much like the moon landing. Please come see for yourselves!